Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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