Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
