that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
