where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
