I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize