sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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