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• (404): View more from Georgia

  It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  No one shows this much boob at breakfast

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.

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• (347): View more from New York

  You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?

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• (207): View more from Maine

  She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him

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• (716): View more from New York

  i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls

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• (406): View more from Montana

  She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place

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• (904): View more from Florida

  I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."

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• (551): View more from New Jersey

  I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.

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