You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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