i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
