I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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