he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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