i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
