As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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