Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
