We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
