I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
that's an acceptable place to lick
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
operation have a gay friend backfired
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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