i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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