Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize