I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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