i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize