I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
