hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
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