guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
