Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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