? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
