Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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