well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
