Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
