I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
