Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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