were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
