If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
i think i just lost a toe
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
