Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
