her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
