my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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