she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
