well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
how do flat chested girls get laid?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
