dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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