Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
