eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Hippo gnu deer
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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