all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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