Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
