Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
