that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
