i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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