we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Did I show you my penis last night?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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