That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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