the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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