He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
