He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
