He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
