Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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