erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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