i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
