YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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