You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
