His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
