there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
