Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
