i can't believe i had my finger in that
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
