im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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