we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
