u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
